Ole’s at The Wheel — 2019; The Memories — 2020; The Coronation
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, the incumbent manager of Manchester United is currently presiding over a project centered on an ideological overhaul of the club values, footballing identity, culture, and long-standing club traditions of “The Manchester United Way”.
For the ManUtd faithful, The Manchester United way is fast-paced, frenetic football that had become the hallmark of the gargantuan-famed Sir Alex Fergie’s time at the club. I’m talking about football so electric, it’s enough to cause a shortage on the national grid.
Back to Ole. Granted. This project has not been a smooth sail by any means decipherable, but you can’t snatch away the substance of introspection-induced progress as a club from the overarching narrative.
Ole presiding over the Manchester United Project presents a worthy metaphor for me, presiding over this project that is my life’s trajectory.
Now, I must warn you. If you think I’m bossing it, you are WRONG. But it’s not all doom and gloom. I’m not without remarkable improvements.
Being my first end-of-the-year-review, there is an increasing urge to start off with how I had thought long and hard before writing,
but that’ll be flat out falsehood!
It was easy. Because I just read Solomon Nzere’s end-of-the-year-review — https://medium.com/@linksolojayz/2019-me-and-my-knapsack-191a45cf523f. It triggered an element of purposeful will which my intuition calculus could not possibly ignore. It was a thumb-stopping, get-you-in-your feelings read, as always.
Okay. So, here’s the kicker,
The beginning of the year started off rather slow for me. The year really happened for me in the second half. Lots of experiences, some, even, unprintable, I should go ahead to share some at least, being my characteristically philanthropic self.
FRIENDS That Became FAMILY
Ladies, Gentlemen, and Queer folks. These are the ones to whom I owe much of the delectable and savory moments of my academic and social sojourn in 2019.
We started off as colleagues in the IfeLaw Debate Circuit. But moving on, our union has snowballed unto a pedestal that is only short of a Holy Matrimony.
This one may be a little unholy though; As per God frowns at a threesome.
I don’t know about the rest. But the litmus test for friendship for my mum has always been an economically inspired one. That is, can you deal financially with this person without any animosity coming in between you both? Seems to hold some didactic value, but definitely not without reservation.
That said, my litmus test for friendship is big on one violating one’s own self-serving bias for my sake. My theory readslike this:
If the person can turn a blind eye to the very natural transactional tendencies of humankind to aggressively pursue your betterment, he or she is worthy of being conferred with the title of a friend.
It is upon the strength of this understanding that I have made life-lasting bonds with some special people. To me, these people have been the real “gang gang”.
Laolu, the good cop to my bad cop, thanks for the admonitions and selfless indulgences. I remember how you helped calculate my CGPA for the first time to ensure I wasn’t off the mark academically, always on my neck to make sure I don’t give in to my oft-looming academic apocalypse, sharing opportunities and giving me a more balanced perspective to things, my real, true friend and stand up guy for eonssssss — I could marry my sister off to you mate!
Haha, you prick! You know I said that because I haven’t any. lol.
Tawakalt Oseni is a refined assortment of beauty and boorains. A leader, a woman of multivariate capabilities, substance, intellect. Of all your qualities, your calm in the midst of turbulence and your wisdom to say the right things at the right time is the most eye-catching.
Daniel! My big brother who finds time even amidst the turbulence of work, emotional trauma, and intellectual dismemberment that is medical practice, to constantly check on me, ensuring that his kid bro hasn’t veered away from this new path he has chosen. For teaching a bruvv how to best serve this drip. 💦Thank you bruvv!
Tomiwa, my reality-check provider at my highest of highs, that there is more to be done and lowest of lows, that it'll come good alas! I return the favor by showing you how you’re not all that great on FIFA console. I’ve shown you how a mighty defence gives you a better shot at winning duels than attack.
FIFA20 reinforces that philosophy. (Hello, Tactical defending) Massive reality check loool. 🙂
The ever-cerebral and beautiful Nene, thanks for being a constant support system. Your work ethic is contagious and you want the best for me undoubtedly. This, I appreciate immensely.
Mide Johnson, for showing us the ropes through your exemplary leadership, style, and finesse in engagements. The excellence you exude rubs off on me in a way that I cannot resist.
Fatima, you are one lady I cannot seem to get enough of…simply amazing! My speaking partner of life, always coming through with the rebuttals, smart, driven, and conscientious to a fault!
Omar, I love you beyond the words — you know that.
Alexander, I owe you, man. You know this! A lot! Thanks for looking out for me, every time. And, by this, I mean — every time I hit a plateau in my academics, and every other time when I’m up to no good.
Juwon, thanks for keeping it real every other time.
Roidd ESQ, your ascendency to prominence is one that happened before my very eyes, thank you for being a shining beacon of hope!
Praise, Thank you for keeping me mentally stable anytime I reach you. You are a refreshing source of comfort and you have a soothing effect on my emotional volatilities. Thank you!
Every other person whose name I cannot include here for constraint of space knows how dear they are, to my heart.
Thirty pieces of silver was the price for which Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus, according to the account of the Gospel of Matthew and in my not-so-infinite wisdom, 30 pieces of silver should be worth between $185 and $216 in present-day USD value.
Hell. I make more than that. I’m not selling you out for anything (on Gambo’s grave). We ride. Dusk till Dawn. Six days through Sunday. Whatever.
More Rheumatism than Romance
Love, like the law, is a nebulous concept. Evasive and Elusive, Slippery as an eel and it basks in the knowledge of it having the uncanny ability to slip off your hands once it seems like you have got somewhat a semblance of it at least.
It’s absolutely needless to go full-on Lord Alfred Denning mode on the concept of Affection and Allied matters. It’s somewhat sufficient for me to say, I had my ups, had my downs and I have just come to accept that it hasn’t worked for me yet.
Maybe, just maybe, my single-pringle singlehood is a mere result of my perpetual pedantic psychobabble. Or, maybe, I’ve been a little the wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve humble brag way too literally. One thing remains worthy of whatever shred of optimism remains in my belly:
When it rains, It pours.
Short story long, (and a very long story indeed) my romantic life has been nothing shorn of a rib-cracking meme! The year 2020 should see me work on my deficiencies so I don’t have to feel attacked when Zlatan’s Song Yeye Boyfriend comes on.
FAITH
The Mustard Seed. The Good Book tells us that if we have an amount of faith as infinitesimal as that of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Sometimes, I feel:
Jumping Jehoshaphat! I am tempted to think that he must have had me in mind when procuring that divine injunction.
I humbly believe that this divine injunction is generous enough to cater to budding Christian brothers like myself, who are often caught up somewhere between chicken-hearted, lily-livered, and ridden with enough self-doubt to make even the biblical Doubting Thomas envious.
Believe in God, have faith, your life is sorted. It’s not an oversimplification — it’s that simple!
Totally unrelated, but about Atheism. One thing that escapes people’s minds quite easily is how Atheists actually devote a more significant amount of thought to God’s existence and purpose for us than most religious adherents do.
In my findings, I cannot help but discover one common thread in atheistic thought — the straw-manning of religion. Religion is not without its many short-comings and absurdities — Institutionally Entrenched Patriarchy/Biblical Patriarchy/Androcentrism being one of those. (see the book of Genesis 3:16).
Spirituality presents a more wholesome phenomenon to cater to the deficiencies of religion. True Christianity does not pander to religion even though you cannot entirely extricate it from the reality of a spirit-filled life.
True Christian spirituality lies in recognizing that we need never shout across the spaces to an absent God. He is nearer than our own soul, closer than our most secret thoughts.
“Help” is a prayer that is always answered. It doesn’t matter how you pray — with your head bowed in silence, or crying out in grief, or dancing. Churches are good for prayer, but so are garages and cars and mountains and showers and dance floors.
Last week ago I read an essay that started like this:
“Some people think that God is in the details, but I have come to believe that God is in the bathroom”.
Nuff said about Atheism or Religion. So, I’ve got six more for you:
Kanye West taught me to be spiritual.
20 plenny
First things first, I thank God for blessing me with the social capital at my disposal, people doing great for themselves — so, I am not short of motivation.
However, because I have come to the inescapable reality that no one is responsible for your progress but you. Yes. Not your mentor. Not your friend. Not even that uncle or aunty owes you anything, the year 2020 shall see me revel even more in my grind, with the tenacity of a Lagos Agbero and the sophistication of a CEO.
This year shall see me make quantum leaps out of my much-cherished comfort zone, I will stop giving into my “couch-potato compulsive disorder”. I will learn, and unlearn, with a voracious appetite for the liberation that comes with enlightenment. Perform A & B testings on my personality. Self-discover. Take on new challenges. Rinse and repeat.
Will I self-sabotage sometimes? Hell yeah, will I make mistakes? Absobloodeylootly. But when push comes to shove, I will bask in my fulfillment, refuse to fall into the alluringly baited trap of a sunk cost. And I’ll move. Why so?
If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.
PARTING PLEA
In other unrelated news. I’m looking forward to Manutd’s match with Arsenal later tonight with keen optimism because they pumped us on their turf last year, and we’ve made significant improvements ever since. I’m buzzing!
I hope we win this time, especially now that I’ve used Ole’s (the manager) management of the club as a like-for-like metaphor for my control over my life.
Do say a well-wishing word or two. So, affliction does not rise up a second time. (Nahum 1:9).
